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I'm a police officer
一、I'm a police officer
When my husband, Jack, was a police officer, he once approached a home guarded by two ferocious dogs. They lunged at the screen door with such force that it opened, and they tore out into the yard.
Thinking quickly, Jack, stepped into the house, closing the door tightly behind him. " It's all right, ma'am," he reassured the homeowner " I'm a police officer."
"Not a very brave one," 'she observed.
我是警察
在我丈夫杰克還是警察的時候，一次他走近有兩只惡狗看守的庭院。那兩只狗奮力地撲抓紗門，把門弄開了并沖到院子里。
杰克反應迅速，三步并兩步地跨入房子里，牢牢地關上身后的門。“沒事了，女士，”他安慰家主道，“我是警察。”
“可不是很勇敢的一個。”她淡淡地說。
二、胖男人和瘦男人，誰更禮貌
fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite.
The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was the more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
一個胖男人和一個瘦男人正在為誰更有禮貌而爭吵。
瘦男人說他更禮貌，因為他總是向一個女士脫帽致意。但是胖男人說他更禮貌，因為無論何時他起身給女士讓座總是能讓兩位女士同時坐下。
三、An Explanation of Tardiness
In some Government offices the clerks， upon arrival in themorning， have to sign their names in anattendance book.This book provides space for signature， time of arrival， andremarks. Ten minutes after the hour an official draws a redline under the last arrival's name， and all those coming subsequently are expected to furnish an explanation of their tardinessin theremarks column.
When a realLondon particular① occurs the numberbelow the line is legion ;the first of them wirtes：Delayedby fog， and the rest scribble aditto.
One morninga foggy oneMr. Jones became a proud father;but even this only caused him to be about eleven minutes late. Proudly he wrote in explanation：Wife had twins，which was followed in due course by the usual string of ditto's!
遲到的原因
在一些政府機關里，每天早晨到達辦公室時職員們都要在一本簽到簿上簽上他們的名字。這本簽到簿留出空格簽名，寫簽到時間，還有備注。上班時間過后十分鐘，一個官員就在最后一個人的名字下面劃一道紅線。以后來的每一個人都必須在備注欄里注明遲到的原因。
當真正的倫敦大霧出現的時候，紅線以下的名字就很多。第一個遲到的人寫上因大霧延誤時間，其他的人，在下面草草寫上丷(同上)。
一天早上一個大霧迷漫的早晨瓊斯先生驕傲地當上了父親;但即使是這種事也只讓他遲到了十一分鐘。他自豪地寫上他的原因：妻子生了一對雙胞胎，到一定的時候，這個解釋下面照例又跟了一串丷。
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