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最新英語(yǔ)笑話幽默網(wǎng)文

時(shí)間:2024-11-23 02:44:20 英語(yǔ)笑話 我要投稿
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最新英語(yǔ)笑話幽默網(wǎng)文

  Psychiatrist

最新英語(yǔ)笑話幽默網(wǎng)文

  Jerry went to a psychiatrist.

  "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.

  Every time I get into bed,

  I think there's somebody under it.

  I'm going crazy!"

  Just put yourself in my hands for one year,"

  said the shrink.

  "Come to me three times a week,

  and I'll cure your fears.

  " How much do you charge?"

  A hundred dollars per visit.

  " I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.

  Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street.

  "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?"

  asked the psychiatrist.

  For a hundred bucks a visit?

  The bartender cured me for $10."

  "Is that so!

  How?

  " He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

  Ain't nobody under there now!!!

  杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生,我有些不對(duì)勁。每次睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候,我都感覺(jué)有人在床下。我要瘋了!”

  “給我一年時(shí)間,”醫(yī)生說(shuō),“每周來(lái)三次,我會(huì)治好你。”

  “費(fèi)用是多少呢?”

  “每次一百美元。”“我會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。

  六個(gè)月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了,“為什么你再也沒(méi)來(lái)呢?”醫(yī)生問(wèn)。

  “一次一百塊錢嗎?有個(gè)酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”

  “真的?他怎么做到的?”

  An Entrance Examination

  入學(xué)考試

  In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music,the teacher asked one of the boys,"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”

  在一次音樂(lè)學(xué)院的入學(xué)考試中,老師問(wèn)一位應(yīng)試的小伙子:“音樂(lè)家最重要的生理素質(zhì)是什么?”

  "To be deaf,”replied the boy.

  “耳聾。”小伙子回答說(shuō)。

  "Nonsense”said the teacher angrily

  “胡說(shuō)!”老師憤怒地說(shuō)。

  "Why, sirs Don't you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?”the boy asked in reply disdainfully.

  “怎么了,先生!您難道連鼎鼎大名的音樂(lè)家貝多芬是個(gè)聾子都不知道嗎?”小伙子輕蔑地反問(wèn)道。

  Visiting A Chicken Farm

  參觀養(yǎng)雞場(chǎng)

  One day,a teacher took his pupils to a chicken farm to pay a visit. When they came near the incubator,a chick just got out of it’s eggshell.

  老師帶學(xué)生到養(yǎng)雞場(chǎng)參觀,當(dāng)他們走近孵化器時(shí),剛好一只小雞破殼而出。

  "It's wonderful to see a little thing come out from the eggshell,isn't it's it?”the teacher said.

  “看見(jiàn)一個(gè)小生命從蛋殼里出來(lái),很奇妙,是不是?”老師說(shuō)。

  "Yes,sir,"said one of the boys,“But it would be more wonderful if we knew that how a chick gets into its eggshell beforehand.”

  “是的,老師,”一個(gè)男學(xué)生說(shuō),“可是,如果我們知道它是怎樣事先鉆進(jìn)蛋殼里的那就更奇妙了。”

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