笑話大全笑破你的肚子的英語(yǔ)笑話7篇
以下是應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生小編為你收集的7段英語(yǔ)笑話，希望你喜歡。
英語(yǔ)笑話：饑荒可能是你造成的 Fat Man and Thin Man
A very thin man met a very fat man in the hotel lobby.
"From your looks," said the fat man, "there might have been a famine."
"Yes," was the reply, "and from your looks, you might have caused it."
【中文翻譯】
在旅館大廳里，一個(gè)非常瘦的人遇到了一個(gè)非常胖的人。
胖子說(shuō)：“看你的樣子，可能有過(guò)饑荒。”
“是的，”瘦子回答說(shuō)，“看你的樣子，饑荒可能是你造成的。”
英語(yǔ)幽默笑話：Birthday 生日
Professor: When is your birthday?
Kid: May 30.
Professor: Which year?
Kid: Every year.
教授：你的生日是什么時(shí)候?
孩子：5月30日。
教授：哪一年?
孩子：每年都是。
英語(yǔ)笑話：兩顆心臟在跳動(dòng) Two hearts beating
Nurse: How do you feel after your operation?
Patient: Quite alright, only I can feel two hearts beating inside me.
Nurse: No wonder the doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now.
護(hù)士：手術(shù)后你感覺怎樣?
病人：十分好，只是我能感覺到我體內(nèi)有兩顆心臟在跳動(dòng)。
護(hù)士：怪不得給你做手術(shù)的大夫剛才在到處尋找他的手表。
Social Worker 社會(huì)工作者
Two social workers were walking through a roughpart of the city in the evening.
有兩名社會(huì)工作者在晚上的時(shí)候 走過(guò)市區(qū)的簡(jiǎn)陋地方。
They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane.Upon investigation,
他們聽到從后巷傳來(lái)的求救呻吟聲和很小的哭喊聲。
they found a semiconscious man in a pool of blood.
他們發(fā)現(xiàn)有一個(gè)意識(shí)不清的人躺在血泊之中。
"Help me,I've been mugged and viciously beaten " he pleaded.
他在懇求說(shuō)：“救救我吧，我被人行兇搶劫，還遭到惡意痛打一頓。”
The two social workers turned and walked away .
這兩名社會(huì)工作者轉(zhuǎn)身離去。
One remarked to her colleague: " You know the person that did this really needs help."
其中一位向她的同事說(shuō)：“你知道吧，于下這擋事的火才真 的需要協(xié)助呀。”
爆笑類笑話：兄弟般的關(guān)愛 Brotherly love
Teacher: Cassandra, if I saw a man beating a donkey and I stopped him, what virtue would I be demonstrating?
Cassandra: Brotherly love?
老師：Cassandra，如果我看見有人在毆打一頭驢，我制止了他，我顯示出了什么美德?
Cassabdra：兄弟般的關(guān)愛?
英語(yǔ)笑話：兩個(gè)律師 Two Attorneys
Two attorneys went into a restaurant and ordered two drinks. Then they brought out sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches here!"
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
【中文翻譯】
兩個(gè)律師走進(jìn)一個(gè)餐廳，要了兩杯飲料，從包中拿出三明治開始吃起來(lái)。餐廳老板走過(guò)來(lái)警告說(shuō)，“你們不能在這里吃自己的三明治。”
兩個(gè)律師對(duì)看了一眼，聳聳肩，然后交換了手中的三明治。
英語(yǔ)爆笑笑話：Its part of the game 我在扮演媽媽
Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.
Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.
媽媽：瑪麗，你為什么這樣大喊大叫的? 為什么不能像艾迪那樣安安靜靜的玩兒呢?你看艾迪一聲兒都不出。
瑪麗：媽媽，艾迪當(dāng)然不會(huì)出聲了，因?yàn)槲覀儌z正在玩爸爸回家遲到的游戲呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。
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