爆笑英語短笑話

時間：2020-10-12 11:22:47 英語笑話我要投稿

爆笑英語短笑話集錦

　　一個人的聰明才智會在幽默的談吐中閃光，并且會深深吸引他人。下面，小編給大家收集整理了爆笑英語短笑話集錦，增加幽默細胞，聰明的你一定會成為閃光點。

爆笑英語短笑話集錦

　　爆笑英語短笑話(一)

　　"I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn't resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, "That's not bad for a man of my age."

　　Overhearing this, a woman remarked, "You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?"

　　我稱贊我的一個同事減肥10磅。可是，我禁不住夸耀說我17歲時，體重225磅，而目前體重是224磅。我還說：“這對我這樣年齡的男子來說，是不錯的。”

　　一個女子聽到了這些話，她說道：“你是說你花了這么短時間才減了1磅?”"

　　爆笑英語短笑話(二)

　　A man who sold brooms went into a barber’s shop to get shaved. The barber brought one of his brooms. After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms.“Two pence,” said the man.“No, no,” said the barber. “I will give you a penny, and if you don’t think that is enough, you may take your broom back!”The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave.“A penny,” said the barber.“I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again.”

　　一個賣掃帚的人去理發(fā)店修面。理發(fā)師從他那里買了一把掃帚。當理發(fā)師給他修面后，問一下他掃帚的價格。買掃帚的人說：“兩個便士。”“不，不。”理發(fā)師說：“ 我只出一個便士，如果你認為不夠的話，可以把掃帚拿回去。”賣掃帚的人拿回了掃帚，隨后問修面要付多少錢。“一便士。”理發(fā)師說。賣掃帚的`人說：“我給你半個便士，如果不夠的話，請把我的胡子還給我。”

　　爆笑英語短笑話(三)

　　""Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　“醫(yī)生”她沖進屋后大聲說道。“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什么病。”他從頭到腳打量打量她，然后大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫(yī)生住在樓下。”"

　　爆笑英語短笑話(四)

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”

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