笑翻天經典英語笑話

時間：2020-08-24 11:48:39 英語笑話我要投稿

笑翻天經典英語笑話

　　笑話是一種簡單的藝術語言，它能讓我們心情變得愉快，今天我們就一起來看看笑翻天經典英語笑話吧!

笑翻天經典英語笑話

　　笑翻天經典英語笑話(一)

　　兔子的論文

　　It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

　　這是一個陽光燦爛的晴朗日子，森林里一只小兔子坐在洞穴外，在打字機上敲敲打打。這時一只散步的狐貍走了過來。

　　Fox: "What are you working on?"

　　狐貍：“你在做什么呢?”

　　Rabbit: "My thesis."

　　兔子：“寫我的論文。”

　　Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"

　　狐貍：“唔，是關于什么的?”

　　Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

　　兔子：“噢，我在寫兔子是怎樣吃掉狐貍的。”

　　Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."

　　狐貍：“你太搞笑了吧!誰都知道兔子不吃狐貍。”

　　Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."

　　兔子：“兔子當然吃，我能證明的。跟我來。”

　　They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.

　　它們一起消失在兔子的洞穴里，幾分鐘后只有兔子獨自出來了。它回到打字機前繼續敲打。

　　Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

　　很快，一只狼走了過來，停下看著兔子奮力工作。

　　Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"

　　狼：“你在寫什么呢?”

　　Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

　　兔子：“我在寫論文，關于兔子如何吃掉狼。”

　　Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

　　狼：“你不會指望這種垃圾論文被發表吧!”

　　Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

　　兔子：“能發表，你想知道為什么嗎?”

　　The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

　　兔子和狼一起進了洞穴，而兔子又一次獨自走了出來。幾分鐘后它繼續打字。

　　Inside the rabbit's burrow: In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

　　兔子洞穴里：一個角落里是一堆狐貍骨頭，另一角落里是一堆狼骨頭。而另一側是一只獅子，它邊打著飽嗝，邊剔著牙齒。

　　It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.

　　論文的題目選什么無關緊要。

　　It doesn't matter what you use for data.

　　你用什么作為例證數據也無關緊要。

　　What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

　　真正重要的是：你的論文導師是誰!

　　笑翻天經典英語笑話(二)

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　杰瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每周來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。六個月后醫生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的`?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”

　　笑翻天經典英語笑話(三)

　　A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?

　　一位年輕的母親認為，世界上還有許多受饑餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑面包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬涂在面包上。母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃面包加黃油，或者面包加果醬，從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然后她柔聲說：您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?

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